No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
