they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
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