I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
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