I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
