Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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