Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
thus making me awesome and them whores
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Success! We fucked roommates!
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
