I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I didn't notice because vodka
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
