his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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