I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Fuck appropriateness.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
