Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
