yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
there is puke in my bra ... again
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
