Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
