She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
