Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
