Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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