No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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