he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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