So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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