Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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