therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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