I got chris browned last night
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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