jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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