Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
