everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
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I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Shame is for Republicans.
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