Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
