No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
