Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize