Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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