We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
