SEEEEXXX PLEASE
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
