I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
