sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
