just survived the first fart of the relationship.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
