at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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