my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
