You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
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she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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