actually, I'm a sock model
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
