been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
