yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
honey bunches of taint.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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