marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
They are going to name an STD after you.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
