Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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