He disabled his match.com account in front of me
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
