OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
The adults are the big ones right?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
