Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
