Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Randomize
