that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
