So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
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