Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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