bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
