Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I think my moral compass just broke
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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