this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize