You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
My ass is underappreciated
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
We're too hungover to prance.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
