the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
