Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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