p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
