its not stalking. its research.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Randomize
