I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
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