I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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