she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
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then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
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How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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