Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
